it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
