69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
