Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
