Having a random hookup so left but love u
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize