He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sext me about skeletons
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
