$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
