i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
