Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
