So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
