so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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