I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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