Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
