Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why is there bacon in the couch?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
