the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
