we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
