i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
