she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
