if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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