Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
