you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
