I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
