i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
