We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
