You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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