the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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