if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
