no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We are two peas in an std pod
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
