She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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