I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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