Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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