dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
