i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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