Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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