spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
