Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
