the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
