Swine flu. Run for my life!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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