Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
