Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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