Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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