I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
