i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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