I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
