What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
