Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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