Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
