I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I enjoy the company of your penis
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
