Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
