I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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