so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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