White coat. Heels.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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