I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
