I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
