Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
